Thursday, August 8, 2019

Surger-y

Nope, not talking about sergers or sewing machines, but the hospital and doctor kind of surgery - I just kinda liked the play on words. 

Some background

Back in April, Dave (the hubby) was experiencing some health issues. Nothing too serious - at first. Went and had a few tests and learned he had a large gall stone that was so big that the whole gallbladder had to be removed.

No big deal right? A lot of people have this, the whole process is done laparoscopically, it's relatively easy, and involves a quick recovery.

Dave's situation is a little special - one of the tests he had  back in April landed him in the hospital for a full week with pancreatitis. Bad stuff. For the last few months we've both been on a low-fat diet waiting for his guts to settle down for best conditions to have the gallbladder surgery.

That day finally arrived yesterday. No gory details, I promise. Bottom line, a long day in the hospital waiting room for me, and excellent surgery results for Dave. He's already home (as of this morning) and on the road to recovery. For the next couple weeks, I'll be doing all the heavy lifting around here, but that should be the worst of it.

Dave needs a good story

So, here's the fun part. I started speculating with a friend how Dave might have to play this up in his cocktail party conversations  (no, we really don't do a lot of cocktail parities, but  . . . you know the drill).

What will his story be? He's got to explain these scars on his abdomen. 'Gallbladder surgery' just isn't very exciting. He needs a better story.

This is not without precedent

Some years ago, Dave and I went to the Cayman Islands and dove with the the sting rays - a popular tourist-y nature experience. Our guide left some squid (a favorite food for the sting rays) on Dave's arm, and Dave ended up with a stingray bruise. Stingrays don't have teeth, but they are kinda like a high-powered vacuum cleaner, so their 'bite' is more like a hickey than an actual 'bite.' Since stingrays are members of the shark family, the vacation story became "I was bitten by a powerful shark on a diving excursion." (We were in no more than 15' of water, btw).

And this is where the speculation began in a series of texts with my friend this morning. . . Here is a starter list for Dave's 'gallbladder' surgery story:

  • Want to see where I was attacked by a shark? (of course with the prior story, this is where the conversation started!)
  • I got this scar wrestling a mutant iguana . . .
  • I was injured while saving a child from the jaws of a wild tiger . . .
  • I escaped an alien abduction . . .
  • I went sky diving without a parachute . . .
  • I thwarted a rabid squirrel assault . . .

The list could go on and on. . .

Do you have any additions? 

In fact, let's hear them! Comment below with a good opening line for Dave's gallbladder surgery scars! Let's lighten things up a little after a long recovery journey that has a happy ending.

As for myself. Yesterday was one long day of waiting. I was really grateful that things went well, of course, but also grateful that I had a bunch of grab-able packets of stitchy travel goodies I could throw in a sack. At first, I thought I brought too much stuff with me. But I worked on most of what I brought at various stages of the waiting exercise.



Happy Stitching!

Joan

8 comments:

  1. He was stabbed by a knife (true part) while protecting my wife from a vicious squirrel attack. (They were a gang of teenage squirrels with huge front teeth and they meant business).

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  2. Now maybe he already has a tattoo, but if not, buy a good fake one and place it over the scar when it's safe to do when he is sleeping. You can certainly have fun with it.

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  3. Dave's story..."I got between my wife and her seam ripper on a bad day!"

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  4. Africanized flock of hungry humming birds

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  5. I was walking the dog during bow hunting season and wasn't wearing orange. Arrow just went in then out the other side.

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  6. The brain-eating zombies miscalculated. Look where they put their straws!

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  7. he was a great admirer of President Johnson, and likes to emulate his 'show the scar' exercise.

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  8. Your hubby will need to tell his story quickly. I can't even find my gall bladder scars. 😊

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